Our free day in KL start quietly, too quietly. My alarm hadn't gone off. So we slept in, which is fine: we're not missing anything at convention.
Also there was no more convention so I added 5 minutes of sulking time.
Eventually we got ready and, amazingly, left the airconditioned luxury of our room. The heat outside at noon assailed us mercilessly during the short walk to the mall. Acclimatisation has it's limits and 32°C is it for me.
An airconditioned bakery in the airconditioned mall provided yummy airconditioned Asian buns. We walked to the airconditioned LRT chomping our buns. Then rode it to another airconditioned mall. The greatest ever invention would have to be fire-making but cool-making is a close second today.
Another train ride took us to Batu Caves. We didn't have a map but didn't need it. Batu Cave station is the best located and named station in the world. It takes longer to get out of the train than it does to find the caves. They LOOM.
Monkey God stands proud and green above us as we leave the station. Behind him another, smaller, god has a chariot pulled by stallions by the entrance to the first cave.
Inside the flow stone. stalagtites, and boulders create a wonderland of natural architecture. Two streams combine in a magnificent waterfall to carve the rock even more. Truly a wonder of nature and so accessible to millions!
Only the unexplained Santa parade of Monkey God dioramas detracted from the experience. Even then the problem was not the displays but the lack of explanation. Probably there was a hawker somewhere with an excellent pamphlet but we didn't see him.
As it was I had fun making up stories based on my memories of The Journey To The West AKA Monkey starring Pigsy, Sandy, and Monkey.
Returning to the overground, we slowly and listlessly wandered towards the big cave and Lord Murugan. The heat smoked from the pavement and dripped down the walls. Even the monkeys had run from the merciless hammer blows of sun and wind. Only the spirit of Monkey was irrepressible*.
An ounce of shady plants provided enough respite for us to notice the coconut seller. He deftly sliced the top and bottom from the huge green nuts ready for opening. Above him an exhausted sign limply said "Coconut 4RM, CHILLED Coconut 5RM".
I moved as fast as I could and half an hour later we had our fibrous salvation and straw. It vanished in flurry of yum and in desperation I tore it open with my bare hands to get the last moist flesh. We could proceed into the heat again.
Time had only sharpened the knives of the heat. It slashed at our shirts and stabbed through our hats. Its constant slicing drove us into the tents of the hawkers
A kind Tamil book seller gave us shelter for only 38RM. And a trinket seller helped us for only 15RM. A beautiful koi pond provided some trees and a pleasant view. From there the steps to the caves and Lord Murugan himself were visible. There was only a hundred meters of baking hot cobbles to cross.
Salamanders shied away from the melting bricks. Arabs muttered darkly about The Nefud, as they extinguished their robes. Visions of Surtr and Muspellheim flickered into existence as a Phoenix made its nest. Only the fiery hands of Lord Murugan held back the blazing host.
As the celestial flame war threatened to erupted around us, we retreated to the only respite available: a cafe. 2 coffees and a couple of Nasi Gorengs and the scene outside had improved: the gods were discussing things over roasting marshmallows. Inside however the insidious temperature added heat to "discussions". Celestial war might have been averted but personal fireballs were set to explode. We needed a miracle and fast!
Flash! Crash! BOOM! The storm struck hard. Cobbles splinted as the cooling water splashed and sizzled. Surtr and efriti both reversed their strategies and fled to less humid climes. The heavens opened and gushed water upon the world.
So here we are trapped in a Malay kafe, pondering how to escape the deluge. Please contact the navy and tell them where we are. Hopefully they can reach us in time.
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